Two of my colleages at University of Helsinki will soon travel to Spain. Although they know some Spanish already, it is obvious that learning some slang words (rude and nasty but so commonly used in Spain in a normal conversation) can be really useful if they are involved in tricky situations. The words and expressions listed below can be considered as offensive and might affect your feelings: YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. Considering Finns' beer habits and Spaniards' wine and fight habits, to have certain problems in a pub is more than possible. That's why knowing so particular words and expressions can be of great interest: proving that you are a rude Finnish guy who knows the local language would increase your threatening capacity. If it does not work, you can always say that you sent to hell to a stupid spanish guy who broke your nose. Please, pay attention, the following words and expressions are commonly used in rude and nasty spanish language:
"Coño": let's start with the spanish version of the finnish "vittu". Unlike "vittu", "coño" is so frequently used that you can hear it on TV, in the streets, in a conversation between two old and endearing old ladies...so basically, in almost everybody's lips. It is a pity, because you sometimes forget about its real and wonderful meaning: the awesome place where life is created ;-)
"Joder": the spanish version of the english "Fuck" although in Spain it is used much more frequently and it is really meaningless, in most cases. You can still use it for any occasion, happiness, surprise, desperation, when you are screwed, when you are "screwing", almost always. Probably the most widespread word in spoken language.
"Gilipollas": very commonly used but too soft if you want to really hurt somebody. It can be used almost everyday with friends when they try to pull your leg, for instance.
"Cabrón": an upgraded version of the previous one, but still not really hard. Can be even used with friends, when you want to show that he's cool. It really depends on the situation!
"Hijo de puta": yes, with this you can really hurt. For some reason, when you consider that somebody's mother is a whore, and you inform him about that, he usually gets angry and a fight will probably start. I particularly like the short version: "hijoputa" altogether, sounds more funny to me, don´t know why.
"Maricón": means "gay" or "homosexual" but sounds really insulting and hard. Not a very good option for insulting, for several reasons: in Spain there is an increasing acceptance and tolerance towards gays and sometimes, you could be labelled as homofobic or intolerant. If you say that word for insulting gays, please be sure that you are in the right place: a holy church or the convention of the Spanish conservative party (PP) would be, for instance, very good places: you will be considered a "real macho". On the other hand, if you are surrounded by normal people, you better don´t do it. Thus, you can always be heard by one of those gays with more muscles than you. He might brake your head and say: "who's maricón now?
"Que te jodan/Jódete": The spanish version for "fuck U" can be also those expressions you use when the talking has resulted not sucessful for working it out. Prepare your fists!
"Me cago en dios": spoken very fast would be something like "mecagüendios" and means, literally: "I shit on god". Again, quite hard expression that is used usually when something is going really, really wrong. If you say it, people, in general, but catholics is particular, can be pissed off by you and in the wrong place, it can be dangerous. They might consider you a blasphemer and you could be punished by, for instance, being burnt in a bonfire, according to the christian traditions.
"Me cago en tu puta madre": probably one of the hardest insulting expressions: "I shit on your mother who is, by the way, a bitch". Yes, my friends. There's something between spanish culture and shit, as you can see...don´t ask me why.
"Vete a tomar por culo": if you hear that, you should know that it means something like "I wish you were ass-fucked". Although anal sex is a generally accepted option for sexual encounters, you should not understand that he's wishing you pleasant sexual relationships, but exactely the opposite. It sounds hard but it is not that much...you can actually use it with friends as a joke. Yes, we like funny jokes!
Finally, you should know that you can always combine several words and expressions. Include "de mierda" (shity) at the end or "puto" at the beginning (like in: "puto cabrón de mierda") would considerably increase the intensity of your purpose (hurt somebody) and everybody will notice how well-aducated you've been and the large variety of words you can deal with. Be cool and GOOD LUCK!
Let me finish this master class with a video made by some freaks ilustrating how relevant is insulting in Spain. They say something like: "please don´t let some expressions like "hijo de puta" disappear from our lives, from our streets, from our schools..." Pure poetry.
PS. The post written above is just a joke. Spaniards are really gentlemen. We know how to behave, almost always...For instance, I never use those fucking words, they make me sick! We have a beautiful and influential language. Spanish was spred out several centuries ago throughout the whole world by the Spanish Empire (XV-XIX c.). Spanish is spoken as first language in 21 nations (Spain and most American countries) and almost 400 million people around the world. It is the third most spoken language in the world and and experts expect that will be the first spoken language in USA's Universities in 50 years. "Don Quixote" (El Quijote) is the book of fiction that has been translated to the highest number of languages (just after another fiction book: the Bible) and it is considered one of the most influential books ever written and a gem of the worldwide literature. The Royal Spanish Academy and the Academies of the Spanish Language are the bodies charged with conserving, enriching and uniting our cultural heritage. Wherever you are, welcome to Spain. Good manners and a smile upon your face are always appreciated!
Oh yes! What happens with the typical First of May Workers Great Demostration? What happens with worker's claims and demands? In here, it simply does not exist as such. People is very happy with their working conditions...or otherwise, they prefer to celebrate the Workers Day, forgetting about their works, jobs, problems and other disgusting stuff, by fulfilling the "carpe diem" saying. It is just, another way.
